Hi everyone,
I rescued a 2-month old kitten born to a feral mom 2.5 months ago. She was really scared from the beginning, so I confined her to a room with her litter box, food and water. We had a cat visitor for a couple of months, who helped her feel more comfortable exploring the housr. He's gone now, but she seems fine with that. She, however, won't let me touch her, if I try she hisses at me. If I come a little too close, she runs and hides. The only time she comes close to me is when I'm in bed. She'll get onto the bed, and start grooming herself or "playing" (trying to scratch my feet, legs or hands when I move them under the covers.) Sometimes I use my hand to play with her, but she scratches or bites (not really). She will also stare at me constantly like when I'm getting ready for work or cooking, but that's it. My questions are: is this normal? Are we making progress? Does she hate me?
I'd say you are making progress, most semi feral approach you but touching and cuddling is often the last thing. I foster cats and my last semi feral came on the 10th Sept last year, my neighbour adopted them in Nov as they weren't homeable and we are still seeing improvments, the worst of the three is lovely but only when her owner is lying down, the boy is the best but nearly a year later the girls are very much their terms only. Maybe adopting a cat friendly adult may help?
Aww bless her. I've had a few like this myself - including a Siamese I BRED myself. She grew up in a quiet house with her mother and was cheeky on her own terms but wouldn't be fussed by me or even looked at by me. Mind you, she was born by C section so I always wondered if she was brain-damaged and blamed myself for not getting her mother into the vet's fast enough but that's another story. It was only at the end of her life when she was seriously ill that she trusted me.
I also have an ex-feral, 15, who can be very very cheeky but if she goes down into the (secure) garden and I come out, runs back into the house as if I'm a total stranger. She's just had to be 'in hospital' for hyperthyroid treatment though and has coped magnificently. Indoors she's soppy - but hides from strangers.
My youngest cat who was never feral needs to be handled with kid gloves. But over five years have passed and we understand and love each other.
I've found with all these 'challenges' that the remedy is time. Love them and leave them alone.
I agree with Booktigger that you're making progress, but it takes some doing doesn't it?
Lots of love to your 'problem kitten' and please keep updating - all the very best
She doesn't hate you and you are making progress, but be warned it can be a very long path, but every step is a milestone and gives a wonderful sense of achievement.
It's been over 2 and a half years since I adopted Freyja. She had arrived at the rescue when she was about 12 weeks old having been found in a tiny cardboard box that was taped shut. When they tried to get her out she was so rigid with fear that they thought something was seriously wrong with her. I got her when she was about 6 months old and the rescue were thinking that she would be a permanent resident as she was still so fearful and most people want a pretty friendly kitten. I'm not most people and a sucker for a sob story, so I was wanting two young cats so took her and a 6 month old male cat she had become friends with.
For about the first month she spent most of her time hiding at the back of a cupboard. She would come out and eat if we were sat quietly in the room. She slowly got more confident with us being about but was still untouchable. i think it was about 3 months after we got her that she finally let me gently scratch her behind the ears, only for a few seconds and then the panic set in. I learnt to recognise the warning signs and to back away at the first one, never to push her further than she could take.
Two and a half years later and she can be a real fuss pot when she wants to and she feels it is safe, but I still cant pick her up and the thought of cuddling her is years in the future. The other day I had her booked in at the vets for her boosters, I know I have one chance at getting her in the carrier or it is cancel the appointment and try again another day. Fortunately we have the top loading cage style carrier, I had left it out and open in the bedroom for a few days (Saturn the cat we had got at the same time had taken to sleeping in it) so she wasn't worked up. She was happy up on the bed til about 10 minutes before my OH came in from work, then our third cat jumped on the bed and woke her up. I decided I couldn't risk Freyja waking up fully, so the technique i have developed is the grab, turn and drop system, ok not quite like that, grab her by the scruff of her neck, as it is the only way I can pick her up, support her back paws while I turn and place her in the waiting carrier, and hold her head down to lower the lid. By the time I had grabbed the nearby towel to cover it she was just starting to do a wall of death in the carrier, quite impressive in a small cat carrier. At the vets she just froze, as the vet put it she was doing a 'dead cat' impression, the vet didn't even take her out the carrier, just checked her over and gave her her boosters and a dose of Stronghold.
As you can see in two and a half years we have come a long way with her, but there is still a lot of room for improvement. Some people wouldn't want a cat you can barely handle, but she is happy and that is what matters most to me, she is friendly when she wants to be. When we got her home from the vets, I expected her to bolt off down the garden or under the bed. She did neither, she got to the cat flap, saw that we were acting normally not wound up, and knew she was in a place she knew and you could almost see it going through her mind, 'ok i'm back home, I'm safe' which in its own way was a wonderful thing to see.
So just be prepared to give her time and a lot of it and let her come to you rather than vice versa.
you could try one of those long-handled back scratchers, so you can touch her without being too close - catch her when she's half asleep if you can - I started like that with a cat who was very similar, even down to coming on the bed when I was in it, and he loved having his back scratched
the next stage was to stroke him when I was lying on the sofa and he was below me - upright humans are more scary to a little cat than prone one, I suppose - and a week of this made all the difference, and suddenly he couldn't get enough fuss, however upright I was!!
booktigger wrote:I'd say you are making progress, most semi feral approach you but touching and cuddling is often the last thing. I foster cats and my last semi feral came on the 10th Sept last year, my neighbour adopted them in Nov as they weren't homeable and we are still seeing improvments, the worst of the three is lovely but only when her owner is lying down, the boy is the best but nearly a year later the girls are very much their terms only. Maybe adopting a cat friendly adult may help?
Yeah, I've been considering adopting another friendlier and older cat. I think we started making more progress when the other one was gone though. Thanks a lot!
Aww bless her. I've had a few like this myself - including a Siamese I BRED myself. She grew up in a quiet house with her mother and was cheeky on her own terms but wouldn't be fussed by me or even looked at by me. Mind you, she was born by C section so I always wondered if she was brain-damaged and blamed myself for not getting her mother into the vet's fast enough but that's another story. It was only at the end of her life when she was seriously ill that she trusted me.
I also have an ex-feral, 15, who can be very very cheeky but if she goes down into the (secure) garden and I come out, runs back into the house as if I'm a total stranger. She's just had to be 'in hospital' for hyperthyroid treatment though and has coped magnificently. Indoors she's soppy - but hides from strangers.
My youngest cat who was never feral needs to be handled with kid gloves. But over five years have passed and we understand and love each other.
I've found with all these 'challenges' that the remedy is time. Love them and leave them alone.
I agree with Booktigger that you're making progress, but it takes some doing doesn't it?
Lots of love to your 'problem kitten' and please keep updating - all the very best
It's good to hear I'm making progress and others have had a harder time. Like you said, I just want her to be fine and happy, and am willing to give her as much time as she needs even if she never gets cuddly or lets me pet her.
Will post an update as soon as we have a development here. Thanks!
Ruth B wrote:She doesn't hate you and you are making progress, but be warned it can be a very long path, but every step is a milestone and gives a wonderful sense of achievement.
It's been over 2 and a half years since I adopted Freyja. She had arrived at the rescue when she was about 12 weeks old having been found in a tiny cardboard box that was taped shut. When they tried to get her out she was so rigid with fear that they thought something was seriously wrong with her. I got her when she was about 6 months old and the rescue were thinking that she would be a permanent resident as she was still so fearful and most people want a pretty friendly kitten. I'm not most people and a sucker for a sob story, so I was wanting two young cats so took her and a 6 month old male cat she had become friends with.
For about the first month she spent most of her time hiding at the back of a cupboard. She would come out and eat if we were sat quietly in the room. She slowly got more confident with us being about but was still untouchable. i think it was about 3 months after we got her that she finally let me gently scratch her behind the ears, only for a few seconds and then the panic set in. I learnt to recognise the warning signs and to back away at the first one, never to push her further than she could take.
Two and a half years later and she can be a real fuss pot when she wants to and she feels it is safe, but I still cant pick her up and the thought of cuddling her is years in the future. The other day I had her booked in at the vets for her boosters, I know I have one chance at getting her in the carrier or it is cancel the appointment and try again another day. Fortunately we have the top loading cage style carrier, I had left it out and open in the bedroom for a few days (Saturn the cat we had got at the same time had taken to sleeping in it) so she wasn't worked up. She was happy up on the bed til about 10 minutes before my OH came in from work, then our third cat jumped on the bed and woke her up. I decided I couldn't risk Freyja waking up fully, so the technique i have developed is the grab, turn and drop system, ok not quite like that, grab her by the scruff of her neck, as it is the only way I can pick her up, support her back paws while I turn and place her in the waiting carrier, and hold her head down to lower the lid. By the time I had grabbed the nearby towel to cover it she was just starting to do a wall of death in the carrier, quite impressive in a small cat carrier. At the vets she just froze, as the vet put it she was doing a 'dead cat' impression, the vet didn't even take her out the carrier, just checked her over and gave her her boosters and a dose of Stronghold.
As you can see in two and a half years we have come a long way with her, but there is still a lot of room for improvement. Some people wouldn't want a cat you can barely handle, but she is happy and that is what matters most to me, she is friendly when she wants to be. When we got her home from the vets, I expected her to bolt off down the garden or under the bed. She did neither, she got to the cat flap, saw that we were acting normally not wound up, and knew she was in a place she knew and you could almost see it going through her mind, 'ok i'm back home, I'm safe' which in its own way was a wonderful thing to see.
So just be prepared to give her time and a lot of it and let her come to you rather than vice versa.
Yes, that's one of my concerns. I need to get her to the vet's in a couple of months to get her neutered. I think I'll use your strategy and have the carrier open in the bedroom where she likes to hide, so it's not such a problem. Your post is very useful for me. Thank you so much!
Kay wrote:you could try one of those long-handled back scratchers, so you can touch her without being too close - catch her when she's half asleep if you can - I started like that with a cat who was very similar, even down to coming on the bed when I was in it, and he loved having his back scratched
the next stage was to stroke him when I was lying on the sofa and he was below me - upright humans are more scary to a little cat than prone one, I suppose - and a week of this made all the difference, and suddenly he couldn't get enough fuss, however upright I was!!
I really like the idea of the back scratcher. That way, she can scratch it instead of my hand. I'll definitely give it a try. Thanks!!
Thanks a lot!