Eye contact

[Rubirabbit]

One of the things I have noticed with Dimitris is that he will not make eye contact with me. He will look at me if he is wanting food but the rest of the time he will will look to the side or down at the ground, anywhere but at me. I am mystified as to why he does this. He is not scared and appears to be settled and comfortable living here - sleeps on the bed every night cuddled up in the crook of my arm. Why won't he look at me?

Also, I am having to put ear drops in twice a week for his on going ear problems. He absolutely hates this and its getting more and more difficult to do. He fights us and only a matter of time before one of us gets clawed or bitten. I'm trying to get him to associate the ear drops with receiving treats but its slow going. Any suggestions please?

[Rubirabbit]

Also forgot to add that he will not play with toys. I have bought him a number of different types of toy ranging from catnip filled toys to various balls to feathers on a pole type toy. He is not interested in any of them. I bought him a cat tunnel which he ignores and the rabbits love . I read that cats love to play and should be actively encouraged to do so every day.

[Ruth B]

Eye contact in cats is a sign of aggression and dominance. Not looking directly at you is his way of saying that he doesn't want to be a threat to anyone. It could be that if his ears are playing up a bit then he wants to do everything he can to avoid a fight, or if he has been picked on in the past he has learnt not to look directly at anyone or anything to try and maintain the peace. If you do make eye contact with him, even if it is both doing a side long glance then blink very slowly as that is a sign that you are friendly and trusting him.

Years ago we got a rehomed Ragdoll cat, he was three years old when we got him and had lived indoors all his life so had very little inter cat socialisation. I noticed that his body language was different to normal moggies, he would look directly at you and walk straight up to anyone convinced that everyone was his friend. When we started letting him out as all my cats have access to outside, we noticed that he had the same body language and attitude to the neighborhood cats. He would stare straight at them and walk straight up to them. They read these as signs that he was ultra confident and always backed down, it probably helped him that he was a large cat to start with with long fur and a wonder lion like mane which made him look even larger. He didn't have an aggressive bone in his body and if any had challenged him I don't think he would have had a clue what to do.

I can't really offer advice about the ear drops except perhaps wrap him in a towel, but that might just make him run off everytime you pick a towel up, just keep trying with the treats and hopefully you will get there.

[Rubirabbit]

Thanks for the reoly . I have tried the slow blinking but he won't blink back.

He has a habit of yawning in my face sometimes if he is sleeping and I have to wake him. I thought that was just a reaction to being woken up but then read it can signify serious annoyance or aggression . He isn't aggressive to us at all, has a sulk if he cannot have his own way all the time but gets over it. I am finding this cat ownership thing very confusing at times .

He was attacked in Greece by a much smaller cat and came away considerably worse. His injuries would have taken his life if we had not been able to get him veterinary help. We thought ( perhaps wrongly ) that he came off worse because he had been living rough and was in very poor condition before he was attacked. I assumed that being a large cat he would naturally be a dominant cat - since learnt that's not always the case.

[Ruth B]

Even us experienced owners can find our cats confusing at times, that is just the nature of cats.

I thought I remembered Dimitris had had a rough start in life, I think he either has learnt to be very submissive or is just naturally a non aggressive cat which meant he got picked on and was always at the bottom of the pecking order. It will take time for him to get used to the idea his life has changed and it isn't going to revert back. Keep up with the blinking, eventually you will get a response.

As for playing, he will when he is ready to, at the moment he is more concerned with sleeping, eating and getting well. A cat that has had to live partly by catching his own prey knows better than to waste energy chasing something if he isn't hungry otherwise he might not have the energy to spare when he is hungry and needs to actually catch what he is chasing. Wand toys can be a wonder help, even a piece of string works, something that you can dangle in front of him so he can bat it a bit without actually having to move far to do so, once he gets the idea you can get him chasing after it and then give him a treat of two when he catches it.