Cat meeting Advice Needed

[Pilly88]

Hello Everyone,

I currently have two rehomed Cats, One has been with us for 2 months and one for 2 weeks.

The female who is 9 years old is very shy and gets scared easily but has her perch and is happy and purrs away, the other is a boy who is around 4 and he's a loving caring boy.

We spoke to the vet and she said to start introducing them but when we did the female hisses and show teeth and the poor boy just freezes and we have introduced them 3 or 4 times now on and off and she will sit in her perch and his at him and show teeth but never goes to him and she will then sleep when he's on our laps but if he moves she wakes up and hisses.

I am wondering if this is a normal stage or if we need to consider that maybe they can't live together, i don't want to upset either of them i don't want them to be best of friends which would be great but it would be nice if they could get on but i want them both to have a happy life that they deserve but I'm wondering if this aggression will continue and i don't want to separate them for life as thats not a nice life but I'm wondering if we need to find a new home for one of them to make their lives easier it breaks my heart thinking about it and I'm blaming myself cause i don't want these lovely cats to be upset and stressed.

If anyone can help or provide advice that would be greatly appreciated.

Allan, Roo and Captain

[Lilith]

Hi, it sounds pretty normal to me. A hiss or even a growl isn't necessarily a sign of aggression; it can be conversational, in the sense of, what's going on here then? Or, look here, I'm boss and don't you forget it. At the moment it sounds as if they're keeping to their own space, the girl is being bossy, and the lad's just keeping shtum, minding his p's and q's.

I don't know if you've seen this - might give you some extra info - https://www.catchat.org/index.php/new-cat-introductions

Time is always the remedy in these cases; I used to breed Siamese and also had some neutered moggies and crossbreds; one of them, a big black lad, always growled at the kittens ... one day I caught him washing one ...

All the very best - you'll get there

[Pilly88]

Hi Lilith,

Thank you for that information and advice i really appreciate it and i just don't want them to have a scared life.

[Ruth B]

It sounds perfectly normal to me, and, in my opinion as long as it isn't heading towards actual violence, it is worth letting them have a hiss or growl at each other, it means they sort themselves out and each learns their place in the household.

As far as timing goes. I adopted my Mothers old cat when she had to move into a nursing home back in January, I already have three cats of my own. At first they were kept entirely separate, for about two weeks, Stroppy, the new cat, was shut in my lounge and the other three had the run of the rest of the house. After the two weeks I started to leave the door open when i was around to keep an eye on things and after another two or so weeks could leave the door open permanently. However for several weeks, even with the door open they all adopted avoidance tactics, Stroppy stayed in the lounge, the rest stayed in the rest of the house. Only now, about 7 weeks on are they really starting to integrate. Stroppy is still fed separately, because that is where she is happiest eating, the others are fed as normal in the kitchen. There is still a great deal of hissing and grumbling when they come too close to each other, but they normally just sort themselves out and retreat to their own areas.

As long as there is no actual violence, or any sign that one cat is becoming very stressed out such as inappropriate toileting, or bouts of cystitis then I wouldn't worry and would let them get on with it. Most cats will learn to at least cohabit, and some become close friends, you just have to let them work things out for themselves.