Lovely Cat Hates 1 Specific Guest

[Bdonnelly]

Hi

I have a lovely 9 month old, spayed, female black rescue cat called Mort. She is extremely friendly, so much so that she has to be kept as a house cat because she would let strangers pick her up. She will greet visitors to our house, let them carry her around like a baby and is generally very much a Mojito cat as Jackson Galaxy would say. A confident, playful and friendly little kitty.

But...She hates my best friend and her husband. I think the issue is that they own 2 male cats. Their cats are given free run of the house, they sleep on all of their clothes and basically they are usually covered in cat hair when they visit. Due to moving and storage issues their house also isn't the cleanest so it smells strongly of cats. I think this is what is upsetting Mort, especially now that she is a teenager. She hasnt met their cats or been to their house but she probably notices the smell of the other cats.

I originally thought it was because they could be a little rough with her. I had witnessed one of them lift her by the scruff. They were told off for this and they never did it again. But I have noticed Mort sniffing when near them before she suddenly acts aggressive. So it is probably the smell.

Does anyone know how to deal with this issue? I don't want to insult people by telling them to wash their clothes before visiting.

[Lilith]

Hi and welcome

Personally, if any cat of mine dislikes a caller, then that's the caller's problem and I don't expect the cat to do the polite.

And if ANYBODY came to my house and (unless it was in a special cause/an emergency) picked one of mine up by the scruff, they'd never be asked again. I think you're being very patient with these people, but if Mort wants to avoid them, I'd let her, and make sure she has a safe space when they call. Some cats are just like that anyway - one of mine hides even if an old friend comes round.

Fusses to Mort (I take it you're a Terry Pratchett fan? )

[Bdonnelly]

Hi and welcome

Personally, if any cat of mine dislikes a caller, then that's the caller's problem and I don't expect the cat to do the polite.

And if ANYBODY came to my house and (unless it was in a special cause/an emergency) picked one of mine up by the scruff, they'd never be asked again. I think you're being very patient with these people, but if Mort wants to avoid them, I'd let her, and make sure she has a safe space when they call. Some cats are just like that anyway - one of mine hides even if an old friend comes round.

Fusses to Mort (I take it you're a Terry Pratchett fan? )

Thank you

Those were my thoughts too. The main issue is that Mort is so social. She is in the habit of following people around the house and wanting to sit with guests, even if she doesn't like them. So she will wander into the room and sit with us until she starts sniffing and suddenly acts out of character. It is surprising to see such a friendly cat suddenly turn aggressive.

I have tried giving the guests she doesn't like treats to feed her, toys to distract her with and I always leave the door to the room open so she can escape to somewhere else if she wanted, but none of it works.

I am still annoyed about the scruffing incident, dont you worry about that.

And yes I am a Pratchett fan

[Lilith]

Ah, so she's her own worst enemy then?

Hope she'll work out her own strategy - she sounds to be puzzled. I used to have a very affectionate and trusting boy who would go to anyone -even when they didn't want them, also some possessive cats who HAD to be in on the action despite guests who didn't really treat them with respect or liking.

Cats are just too darn curious!

She sounds to be a darling

[Bdonnelly]

Ah, so she's her own worst enemy then?

Hope she'll work out her own strategy - she sounds to be puzzled. I used to have a very affectionate and trusting boy who would go to anyone -even when they didn't want them, also some possessive cats who HAD to be in on the action despite guests who didn't really treat them with respect or liking.

Cats are just too darn curious!

She sounds to be a darling

Hopefully she either works out a strategy or grows out of it. She is a darling cat other than this issue. Normally she is really fond of guests because they mean extra cuddles. She is more affectionate than possessive. She was brought up by a foster so she is more used to being around humans than other cats.

[Ruth B]

I have to agree with Lilith and say let her do her own thing, but a couple of things do come to mind.

You mention they have two male cats, I am assuming these cats are neutered, if they aren't that could be where the problem lies.

If their boys are boisterous, and many young male cats can be, it could be that they have learnt more assertive, even aggressive body language to make sure their cats don't misbehave, the scruffing incident does seem to point to something like that to me.

If you do want to encourage Mort to socialize with them, then offer them a blanket that she sleeps on to put over their knees, it might help mask the scent of strange cats.

One of my cats is so nervous of visitors that she tends to hide under the bed at the sound of the front door opening, I'm convinced that some of my friends would think she is a figment of my imagination, if it wasn't for the photos I can show them.

[Bdonnelly]

I have to agree with Lilith and say let her do her own thing, but a couple of things do come to mind.

You mention they have two male cats, I am assuming these cats are neutered, if they aren't that could be where the problem lies.

If their boys are boisterous, and many young male cats can be, it could be that they have learnt more assertive, even aggressive body language to make sure their cats don't misbehave, the scruffing incident does seem to point to something like that to me.

If you do want to encourage Mort to socialize with them, then offer them a blanket that she sleeps on to put over their knees, it might help mask the scent of strange cats.

One of my cats is so nervous of visitors that she tends to hide under the bed at the sound of the front door opening, I'm convinced that some of my friends would think she is a figment of my imagination, if it wasn't for the photos I can show them.

Their boys are neutered. They are also rescue cats so they came already fixed.

I thought the same thing about body language. Their boys are very much a handful. Both of their cats are not fans of being handled. One will squirm if his owners pick him up and try to get away while the other is properly aggressive. The agressive one hisses and scratches at his owners and guests. Very territorial. I assumed the scruffing incident happened because they handled very tame and friendly Mort the same way they deal with their own cats.

I will try the blanket idea. I wouldn't mind if Mort hid from guests. It is the fact that she wants to socialise that makes her have to mix with people she doesn't like. If I put her out of the room and close the door she will sit outside it and meow to get back in. The blanket suggestion might be the best idea. Or covering these 2 specific guests with body spray.

Your hiding cat sounds a lot easier to deal with and very sweet

[issiandarchie+68]

Hi

I have a lovely 9 month old, spayed, female black rescue cat called Mort. She is extremely friendly, so much so that she has to be kept as a house cat because she would let strangers pick her up. She will greet visitors to our house, let them carry her around like a baby and is generally very much a Mojito cat as Jackson Galaxy would say. A confident, playful and friendly little kitty.

But...She hates my best friend and her husband. I think the issue is that they own 2 male cats. Their cats are given free run of the house, they sleep on all of their clothes and basically they are usually covered in cat hair when they visit. Due to moving and storage issues their house also isn't the cleanest so it smells strongly of cats. I think this is what is upsetting Mort, especially now that she is a teenager. She hasnt met their cats or been to their house but she probably notices the smell of the other cats.

I originally thought it was because they could be a little rough with her. I had witnessed one of them lift her by the scruff. They were told off for this and they never did it again. But I have noticed Mort sniffing when near them before she suddenly acts aggressive. So it is probably the smell.

Does anyone know how to deal with this issue? I don't want to insult people by telling them to wash their clothes before visiting.

Ditch the friends and fast. I had a similar problem with my Cody. She was the sweetest, friendliest cat ever..but. Through Catchat [sorry folks] a contributor on learning we lived nearby, got in touch. She insisted on coming round to the house, seemed pleasant enough, being a normal [!?] person I was keen to make a new friend. Well the minute she walked through the door, all 3 of my friendly cats beat it. Cody, to my great surprise, shot past her, into the bedroom and straight under the duvet. I managed to coax her out but the minute she again spotted said friend, she shot back into bed. I wish i'd trusted her judgement. New friend used me for lifts to the Vet, shops, getting her an allotment etc but her and her partner were then really horrible to me, upping their game to downright nastiness when I became ill, making barbed comments every time I passed them, criticising my allotment friends and 'borrowing' my tools. My gentle husband disliked them from the start and he was right, they simply never had a good word to say about anybody, not even their smashing Vet. Moral of this story..TRUST YOUR CAT!! When she sniffs them, she is sussing them out, checking if it is safe to be around them, deciding not. Maybe it's just me, but if anybody,friend family or otherwise, was ever rough with or lifted any of my cats over a lifetime of ownership by the scruff, they too would have been grabbed by the scruff and marched to the door, never to darken it again. By the way, I'm all for casual dressing but visiting you wearing manky, smelly clothes...yuck yuck..no respect.

Issi

[Ruth B]

I knew Freyja was nervous when I adopted her, her tale pulled at my heart (she had been found in a tiny, taped up box when she was about 12 weeks old and handed in to a rescue), so I knew she would lake a lot of time to accept people. Three years on and while she will still hide if people who only visit occasionally come around, she manages to sit on the stairs and watch some of our regular friends from a distance, and with myself and my OH she can be really soppy and demanding, but only on her terms.

However she is a cat I still pick up by the scruff, but only when I absolutely have to pick her up, normally to take her for booster jabs.

The first time i had to get her to the vets I managed to tempt her into the carrier and shut the lid quickly, she wouldn't fall for that a second time, so after cancelling the next appointment and making it for a later date, I then managed to get her in the bathroom and after a struggle got a towel around her and got her into the carrier, she now won't go in the bathroom and does panic if she feels she is trapped somewhere. The next time I tried to get her in a towel but she realised what was happening, so it was another cancelled appointment, and after a year of not being able to work the catflap out the moment I opened it up she was down the bottom of the garden (she hasn't had a problem using it since fortunately), she also tended to panic if I so much a picked a T Shirt up in front of her for months afterwards.

The method I have managed the last two times is the scruff, lift, and drop technique for getting her in a carrier. Have the carrier out and open in the bedroom for several days before the appointment, wait until she is relaxed on the bed, gently grab her by the scuff, lift her, supporting her back legs with my other hand and place her in the carrier and shut the lid (I refer to it as the 'drop' but it isn't an actual drop). Try and pick her up normally and she still stiffens for a couple of seconds and then goes into panic mode, all claws and teeth, the times it has been tried we ended up shredded and wondering if we should go to A&E, scruffing her makes her freeze for the few seconds it takes. I hope one day I can pick her up properly and maybe even cuddle her, but until then, I have accepted the scruffing technique. However I wouldn't do it on anyone else's cat without a really good cause.

[Bdonnelly]

I knew Freyja was nervous when I adopted her, her tale pulled at my heart (she had been found in a tiny, taped up box when she was about 12 weeks old and handed in to a rescue), so I knew she would lake a lot of time to accept people. Three years on and while she will still hide if people who only visit occasionally come around, she manages to sit on the stairs and watch some of our regular friends from a distance, and with myself and my OH she can be really soppy and demanding, but only on her terms.

However she is a cat I still pick up by the scruff, but only when I absolutely have to pick her up, normally to take her for booster jabs.

The first time i had to get her to the vets I managed to tempt her into the carrier and shut the lid quickly, she wouldn't fall for that a second time, so after cancelling the next appointment and making it for a later date, I then managed to get her in the bathroom and after a struggle got a towel around her and got her into the carrier, she now won't go in the bathroom and does panic if she feels she is trapped somewhere. The next time I tried to get her in a towel but she realised what was happening, so it was another cancelled appointment, and after a year of not being able to work the catflap out the moment I opened it up she was down the bottom of the garden (she hasn't had a problem using it since fortunately), she also tended to panic if I so much a picked a T Shirt up in front of her for months afterwards.

The method I have managed the last two times is the scruff, lift, and drop technique for getting her in a carrier. Have the carrier out and open in the bedroom for several days before the appointment, wait until she is relaxed on the bed, gently grab her by the scuff, lift her, supporting her back legs with my other hand and place her in the carrier and shut the lid (I refer to it as the 'drop' but it isn't an actual drop). Try and pick her up normally and she still stiffens for a couple of seconds and then goes into panic mode, all claws and teeth, the times it has been tried we ended up shredded and wondering if we should go to A&E, scruffing her makes her freeze for the few seconds it takes. I hope one day I can pick her up properly and maybe even cuddle her, but until then, I have accepted the scruffing technique. However I wouldn't do it on anyone else's cat without a really good cause.

Scruffing is needed for some cats in emergencies and when they are generally hard to handle, I think. Like your nervous Freya. I can understand why they might do it to their boy cats.

Mort on the other hand doesn't need it at all. It actually doesn't seem to work on her. She was left with a foster at a few weeks old so she hasn't had a mummy cat. When it comes to picking her up she is very easy to handle, you can just scoop her up, even visitors can do it. She will even climb onto your shoulder and sit their while you do things, or ask people to pick her up. She is a people cat. I have also trained her to climb into the carrier when I need her too, so scruffing her isn't necessary.

Basically she acts like a dog in a cat costume.

[Ruth B]

Freyja is the only one of mine I have to scruff, the others won't willing go in the carrier (they are only used to take them to the vets, so it's understandable), but can be picked up normally, we even had one, now sadly over the Rainbow Bridge, that you could cradle like a baby and he would just lie there and purr, he was a Ragdoll, so it wasn't too much of a surprise. I also did have to lift another one by the scruff, just once, she had managed to jump down into the narrow gap between a bed headboard and the wall. There wasn't enough room for her to turn around or even for me to reach down and get my arm between the wall and her, i also couldn't move the bed single handed. I had to lift her out by the scuff, but she didn't struggle and never did it again.

If I ever visit a friend who has cats, I take my lead from the cats behaviour, if it wants attention it can have attention, if i can slip a hand under its chest and it doesn't pull away then I can pick it up, anyone who knows cats should be the same, if they are doing something you know they shouldn't a gentle reprimand and pushing them away and then ignoring them is often enough. You shouldn't assume you can treat someone else's cats the same as you treat your own, they might be used to being handled differently.