Help with new cat

[Feline Overlord]

Recently adopted a new cat, but our first cat doesn't like her. We're trying to introduce them the proper way, but it's not working yet. My first cat still hisses every time she sees the second cat. We still have to keep them in separate portions of the house. Is it a good idea to punish the first cat for not getting along with the second cat? I am of the opinion that just because my first cat does not like the second cat and is stubborn about it, it does not mean that she is a bad cat. My housemates are growing slightly frustrated with her and call a bad cat.

[fjm]

Punishing will simply make matters worse. First cat is reacting in an entirely natural and instinctive way to an intruder on her territory - she did not ask for a second cat, and has no reason to welcome one and every reason to try and chase it away. Think how you might feel if a stranger suddenly moved into your room and took up all the space, ate your food from the fridge, sat in your chair to watch your television, took your place with your flatmates...

I would give both cats lots of space and time, and be especially attentive to first cat. Feeding her chicken and other good stuff in the vicinity of second cat may help to build up good associations with the intruder - you want her to come to believe that the presence of second cat causes good things to happen, rather than making humans angry and taking away all their attention.

[bobbys girl]

I agree, PLEASE don't punish your first cat, she won't understand and besides, she's done nothing wrong. She needs preferential treatment and loads of assurance.

Our Bob is having a hard time accepting the kittens (truth is, they all are!) but he gets first choice of seats and meal times without kittens! They are all slowly coming around and will now share beds and the hearth rug with the little'uns. Only Gracie hisses at them when they go near her - but then, she hisses at everyone.

[Ruth B]

I fully agree with what has been said don't punish your first cat, her reaction is perfectly normal.

I will also add that is she views you and your flatmates as getting upset and angry when the new cat is around she will take it as a message that it is right to be upset and angry when new cat is around which will only slow down her acceptance of her. Try to just behave normally and ignore any hissing that might be going on, try and behave as if there is nothing to worry about with the new cat around and hopefully your original cat will realise that as you aren't chasing the newcomer off therefore maybe they are allowed there. Of course try and have something to hand if it does look like they might come to blows, you don't want to be paying vets bills for either of them.

You also don't say how long you have had her, it can take several weeks even months for a resident cat to really accept a newcomer. I recently had to take in my Mother's old cat and try and integrate her with my resident 3. We have now had her 4 weeks and there is still a lot of hissing and glaring going on whenever they meet and they are still separated at night, but so far, luckily, there has been no real aggression just a lot of postering and body language, and blatant ignoring of each other.

These things take as long as they take and there is no speeding the process.

[Feline Overlord]

We've only had the second cat for about two weeks, which is why I believe the first cat's reaction is indeed normal. The second cat is currently confined within a room, and we intend to keep her there for a while, until we think they might be able to get along. There's a locked transparent cat flap in the door through which they can see each other. Thing is, the first cat has never liked eating treats (we've tried many different brands); we will open the door a little and then try to feed the cat on each side of the door treats, but the first cat will just sniff the treat and then ignore it. When we try to give them their meals by the door, again, first cat refuses to eat because its not where she usually eats.

My flatmates don't exactly get angry or upset, but I guess they do get a little bit annoyed when that happens and say she's being anti-social.

Are you sure the first cat doesn't understand when she is punished? When the first cat hissed at the second cat through the cat flap this morning, my flatmates immediately locked the first cat up in a room, something that she dislikes. They only kept her in there for a short while, only about five minutes or even less, but when she came out she was very clingy and kept asking us for attention, even more so than she usually is. My flatmates say that she knows that she got punished, and is acting like that because she's scared we will hate her now. (We picked her up from the car park two years ago, which is why she might have insecurity issues) What do you people think? Should even that kind of punishment be avoided?

[fjm]

Very definitely avoided. You want her to be happy and relaxed around the new cat, and shutting her in is making her anxious and stressed, which means it will take even longer for her to accept the new cat. She is a cat, and thinks like a cat not a human. Cause and effect are very simple for her, and she is far more likely to associate being shut away from you with the presence of another cat than with a purely instinctive hiss on her part. If she gets very upset I would take her into another room and sit with her there, playing and stroking, rather than shut her away. Hissing through the cat flap - or even batting at it with claws out, sound pretty normal reactions to me.

If she doesn't like treats what does she like? Stroking? Games with a feather on a string? Chicken? Find out what it is, and use it to distract her and reward her. Put a big sign above the cat flap for your housemates - "Ignore what you don't like, Reward what you do like". Cats are naturally solitary animals. Domesticated cats learn to enjoy living with humans, and can enjoy living with other animals and even other cats, but company is not an overwhelming need for them, the way it is for humans or dogs. Another cat is by default an intruder and competitor, rather than a potential friend. You are working to overcome a basic instinct, and that takes time and patience!

[Ruth B]

Cats, by nature are not social creatures, they can learn to live together when they know that all their needs are still in plentiful supply.

A cat with access to outside will have three areas to its territory. The area farthest from its home is an area it patrols and checks for messages left by other cats but doesn't actively defend, it will even include areas claimed by other cats. The middle area is an area close to the house, often just their own garden, but sometimes the neighbors as well, this is an space that other cats will frequent but the cat will act to protect and 'fight' over (most cat fights involve a lot of noise and posturing, and only get violent if they are equally matched and neither is willing to back down). The boundary lines of these two areas ebb and flow depending on the local cats.

The final area is the den, the place that the cat really feels secure. This is normally the owners house and other cats are not allowed in it. Even if the cat isn't allowed out, their home is their den and should be a place where they feel safe. If another cat gets into the den area that means that it has already breached the outer defences. However cats are adaptable enough to learn to share their den with other animals (including people) if there is no competition for resources, but then the job of defending the territory is shared between all that live there.

Another cat has invaded her den and you aren't doing your job chasing it off and she doesn't understand why. She is confused she doesn't know whether she should be chasing it off, are you not able to or is it so dominant that you are already submissive to it. She tries to do the right thing and help you out by trying to get rid of it, and, you and the people she trusts do something horrible to her and she doesn't understand why. She is starting to feel that she is in danger of losing her home to this new cat, those that should be helping her are siding with it. In the end she fears that it is going to chase her out and you and your flatmates won't defend her. You have to reassure her that she won't be chased out, that there will always be enough food and attention for her and the new cat.

i know everyone says about feeding either side of a door, but I will admit that i have never done it. My cats are fed in the kitchen and they know it, to move their feeding place would upset them. Any new cat is kept in the lounge with the door shut to start with and fed in there. They get fed three times a day, first thing in the morning when we get breakfast ready, then when we get in from work we normally have an early evening meal and give the cats a second meal, and finally just before we go to bed. The cats know this and are normally either pestering us or hanging around the kitchen at the appropriate time. The lounge has become the den area for our new cat and she waits in there for her food. As the lounge has become her den area, the other cats will only enter warily, the rest of the house belongs to the other cats and she only ventures out warily. After 4 weeks I can now leave the door open during the day, but they still view it as the dividing line.

If you have had your new cat a couple of weeks then I would suggest it is time to start making introductions. Hopefully during the two weeks you have been doing some scent exchanges to get them use to the scent of each other. Make sure you have a cushion or pillow handy, hopefully it won't be needed but if violence does occur you want something to split them up with without getting hurt yourself. Start opening the door and letting one or the other cat explore, they will probably only venture into the others area for a few minutes to start with. Hissing and growling is to be expected and shouldn't be interfered with, only if the body language hints at actual violence should you intervene. Normally they will both retreat to where they feel safest to mull over the situation. Shut the door again and give both a big fuss, or if the time is right a feed in their normal places. Repeat the process several times a day if possible. Slowly they will start exploring more and while it might take months for the hissing to stop you will find there comes a time when you feel it is safe to let them roam and interact on their own. The only 'punishment' that is really needed is when one or the other starts to do something you don't want them to do, like chase the other when it is backing away, is to just call their name in a slightly harder, disapproving voice, you don't need to shout, they will understand that their behaviour goes beyond acceptable.

[Feline Overlord]

Thank you so much for all the advice so far. I've managed to convince my housemates not to punish the first cat when she hisses at the second cat. We let the second cat out of her room to explore the house yesterday, and while the first cat did hiss at her, no fights have occurred. Actually, I think the first cat is scared of the second cat. The whole time the second cat was running around exploring, the first cat hid behind a bookcase and did not come out.

Now we have another problem. The second cat refuses to stay in her room any longer. When we lock her up in there, she paws desperately at the cat flap and tries to come out. She meows nonstop until she is let out of the room. She also scratches herself so hard that she pulls out her fur. So we have no choice but to let her out off the room, monitoring the two cats to prevent any fights. Because of the presence of the second cat, the first cat is very alert and spends most of her time behind the bookcase now (not her usual sleeping spot). She doesn't even really dare to eat her food. Several times, the second cat has suddenly gone towards the hiding place of the first cat, but we stopped her before she got too close. We think the second cat is actually deliberately trying to go to the first cat, and that worries us (the second cat might be trying to establish who the dominant cat is). We are thinking of putting the first cat in the room instead of the second cat (so the second cat can explore the house and the first cat will be safe), but it doesn't quite sit right that our first cat has to be confined to a room because of the arrival of another cat. What do you people think?

[Ruth B]

I wouldn't recommend shutting the original cat in the room unless there really is no other option. That room will now smell strongly of the new cat and might make the original feel like they are being shut in someone else's territory, you have also mentioned that your flatmate did use shutting her in a room as punishment which made her very uptight, so shutting her in might cause a similar reaction, she can't know that you are doing it to try and help her.

I know the catflap was put in with good intention, but know it is showing the new cat that there should be access to the rest of the flat and she can't get to it. Is there any way you can temporarily board over the cat flap, if she can't see it it might calm her down a little.

However by the sound of it the new cat is young and I think the best option would be to play with her a lot to try and tire her out before shutting her in. Wand toys are great for this, you can get her chasing around the room while you stand still, and there is less danger you will get hurt due to her over enthusiasm, balls to chase can also be a good option, and of course catnip mice or similar that she can 'kill' when you aren't around, or just drool over is she is seriously affected by catnip. Food balls can also be great entertainment, they are plastic balls with small holes that you put dried food in and the cat then has to knock it about to get the food out.

My advice would be to have a good long play session with her just before feeding time, then feed her in her room with the door shut and the original cat fed at the same time in her normal place, leave the door shut and hopefully the new cat will go to sleep after eating.

Try and sort out a routine for her time out of the room. If you keep letting her out on demand she will soon learn that she only has to yell and any door will be open for her, which could cause issues later on.

As far as the scratching and pulling fur out, while it might be a stress reaction, I would suggest that a quick trip to a vets for a check up to make sure there is no sign of something irritating her skin would be a good idea. I am also assuming that defleaing is up to date.

All in all though it does sound like it is going as well as could be expected. Don't worry about the original cat hiding behind the bookcase, she is just watching the whole thing from somewhere she feels safe and will come out when ready. Make sure you give her lots of fuss so she won't feel that her nose is being pushed out.

[Kay]

nothing much to add, except if there is no more than hissing going on between the two cats, and no attempt to fight, you are perhaps worrying too much

I have had my Tosker for more than 8 years, and Tiffany still regularly hisses at him - he takes no notice and it never comes to blows

[Lilith]

Hi there - and seconded, good advice given

Cats aren't like puppies or children, they can't be trained to 'mix' socially and they make their own rules ... errm come to think of it I could never be trained to 'mix' either But that's another story - I was a strange child...

I've always had several cats in the house and in my experience hissing is usually verbals, a conversational thing almost, such as 'NOW what's going on? Watch your step!' And so on. I'll never forget Annie, who as a kitten spent her first night in the house alone with me and decided to sleep on my shoulder. Every time I twitched a muscle, she hissed. It was a case of, 'I don't know you or your smell yet, but I'm stopping here!'

I do hope senior cat comes out of her hidey hole soon, and I'd special her for all she's worth, fusses, titbits of any food she likes, loving talkings to too. She clearly needs her self-confidence building up. Lots of praise. I have a slightly similar 6 year old situation in this house with youngest cat teasing the two oldies - if the oldies whop her over the nose I praise them for standing up for themselves - and everyone gets plenty of affection, including horrible youngest cat, bless her.

I'd say, let things work themselves out now, as Kay says, but do keep making a fuss of first cat. Good luck, you'll all get there.