My angel is a real angel now…
Posted: Sat Aug 21, 2021 6:58 pm
On Wednesday 8/18 I had a routine wellness check scheduled for my two kitties - Monkey (18 years old) and Baby (13 years old). Baby started showing signs over the weekend that she wasn’t feeling very well and I thought “thank goodness I made that appointment”.
I was getting worried about her because she wouldn’t really come out from under the bed but she still made an appearance every once in awhile because she was a strong, caring, beautiful girl who always made her mama happy.
I didn’t realize how ill she actually was Dr. Nan said it was large cell lymphoma that had spread into her kidneys and liver causing them to shut down. She was suffering from jaundice which didn’t actually pop up until the morning of our appointment but it was painfully clear she was losing the battle to this “hard to detect, extremely aggressive” cancer that seemed to come out of no where! Dr. Nan said she had probably only had it for a few months. I have pictures of her happy and napping comfortably on August 1st ~ I wish I had stumbled onto her illness when it first presented but there were no symptoms until it was too late. In hindsight - there may have been small changes in her behavior but nothing that caused me great alarm. Maybe I just wasn’t vigilant enough. I don’t know
I had to make the choice to let her go or our doctor (of 10 years) told me I could have a few extra days with fluids and pain meds. I could never do anything to hurt my beautiful girl so I made the choice to let her go. I was fortunate enough to be able to be in the room with her as they gave her the two shots to send her to the rainbow bridge. I sang her our song and told her all her work was done and she had been simply wonderful and such a good girl. I tried not to cry too much cause I wanted to be strong for her but it was so so hard.
I picked up her ashes the next day. It was a very sudden and unexpected loss. I’d always prepped myself for monkey crossing first as he’s much older and his health has been up and down and yet ~ here me and the old man sit without our darling girl. I don’t know if he’s quite figured out yet that she’s not coming home.
As many have said on here - my kitties saved my life many times. So many times I have wanted to just throw in the towel but I knew I couldn’t because these beautiful souls depended on me and I couldn’t let them down. I loved my girl with my whole heart and we had so many good years together. I spoiled her rotten and she was the bravest, sweetest, most beautiful soul I have ever come across.
The grief is so strong right now. I hate it because my whole life just got a little bit sadder without her making me laugh, her cuddles, her smiles, her purrs, and her temper too. I still have the old man and I’m trying to make sure I’m watching him close for signs of bereavement as well. He has shared the majority of his life with her as his companion.
I’ve had so many challenges and changes over the past 6 months - divorce, moving to a new home with my two cats, and now the loss of my greatest joy and comfort on the planet. I’ve been in bed with monkey all day. Im paralyzed with grief but I’m going to pull myself up and try and do something “normal” around the house. I want to make my girl proud of me even if she’s not here anymore. I really just wanna go be with my baby again.
I was getting worried about her because she wouldn’t really come out from under the bed but she still made an appearance every once in awhile because she was a strong, caring, beautiful girl who always made her mama happy.
I didn’t realize how ill she actually was Dr. Nan said it was large cell lymphoma that had spread into her kidneys and liver causing them to shut down. She was suffering from jaundice which didn’t actually pop up until the morning of our appointment but it was painfully clear she was losing the battle to this “hard to detect, extremely aggressive” cancer that seemed to come out of no where! Dr. Nan said she had probably only had it for a few months. I have pictures of her happy and napping comfortably on August 1st ~ I wish I had stumbled onto her illness when it first presented but there were no symptoms until it was too late. In hindsight - there may have been small changes in her behavior but nothing that caused me great alarm. Maybe I just wasn’t vigilant enough. I don’t know
I had to make the choice to let her go or our doctor (of 10 years) told me I could have a few extra days with fluids and pain meds. I could never do anything to hurt my beautiful girl so I made the choice to let her go. I was fortunate enough to be able to be in the room with her as they gave her the two shots to send her to the rainbow bridge. I sang her our song and told her all her work was done and she had been simply wonderful and such a good girl. I tried not to cry too much cause I wanted to be strong for her but it was so so hard.
I picked up her ashes the next day. It was a very sudden and unexpected loss. I’d always prepped myself for monkey crossing first as he’s much older and his health has been up and down and yet ~ here me and the old man sit without our darling girl. I don’t know if he’s quite figured out yet that she’s not coming home.
As many have said on here - my kitties saved my life many times. So many times I have wanted to just throw in the towel but I knew I couldn’t because these beautiful souls depended on me and I couldn’t let them down. I loved my girl with my whole heart and we had so many good years together. I spoiled her rotten and she was the bravest, sweetest, most beautiful soul I have ever come across.
The grief is so strong right now. I hate it because my whole life just got a little bit sadder without her making me laugh, her cuddles, her smiles, her purrs, and her temper too. I still have the old man and I’m trying to make sure I’m watching him close for signs of bereavement as well. He has shared the majority of his life with her as his companion.
I’ve had so many challenges and changes over the past 6 months - divorce, moving to a new home with my two cats, and now the loss of my greatest joy and comfort on the planet. I’ve been in bed with monkey all day. Im paralyzed with grief but I’m going to pull myself up and try and do something “normal” around the house. I want to make my girl proud of me even if she’s not here anymore. I really just wanna go be with my baby again.