Grief and Guilt- I missed signs of his cancer
Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2022 11:19 pm
I lost my beloved 1.5 year old cat, Melvin, to cancer of the bone marrow at the beginning of december 2021. I had him since he was a 5 week old kitten, when he was found near a busy road by a person in my neighborhood.
It has been so difficult because he was such a young cat and I felt like I didn't get enough time with him. He didn't get to have a long life. I feel so much guilt and grief because I feel like I missed the signs that he had cancer. And if I had only noticed the signs and brought him in sooner, I could've had more time with him and got him help sooner. Instead, I noticed when it was too late and the cancer had already metastasized to his spleen and liver, and we had to end his suffering. I feel so much regret that I didn't question why it seemed like he was sleeping more than usual, and not playing as much- I just thought he was making that transition from a high energy kitten to a more relaxed adult cat. Besides these small behavioral changes, I assumed I shouldn't worry about it because he was still eating like normal, using the litterbox like normal, and jumping on counter tops and cuddling with me. I am devastated over losing him. And it hurts so much that I barely had time with him. Everyday is so difficult because I feel like I failed him, and I keep thinking what could've been if I had only brought him to see the vet sooner. And most of all I just miss him, he was such a sweet boy. Has anyone had a similar experience? And does anyone have advice on how to deal with all of this guilt? Thank you in advance.
It has been so difficult because he was such a young cat and I felt like I didn't get enough time with him. He didn't get to have a long life. I feel so much guilt and grief because I feel like I missed the signs that he had cancer. And if I had only noticed the signs and brought him in sooner, I could've had more time with him and got him help sooner. Instead, I noticed when it was too late and the cancer had already metastasized to his spleen and liver, and we had to end his suffering. I feel so much regret that I didn't question why it seemed like he was sleeping more than usual, and not playing as much- I just thought he was making that transition from a high energy kitten to a more relaxed adult cat. Besides these small behavioral changes, I assumed I shouldn't worry about it because he was still eating like normal, using the litterbox like normal, and jumping on counter tops and cuddling with me. I am devastated over losing him. And it hurts so much that I barely had time with him. Everyday is so difficult because I feel like I failed him, and I keep thinking what could've been if I had only brought him to see the vet sooner. And most of all I just miss him, he was such a sweet boy. Has anyone had a similar experience? And does anyone have advice on how to deal with all of this guilt? Thank you in advance.