I didn't get to say goodbye
Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2022 4:17 pm
Yesterday I got the tragic call from my mom that my cat of 15 years was passing. I didn't rush over there immediately as I started to cry at the thought. I have crushing guilt because by the time I arrived he was already gone. I have beyond overwhelming guilt that he may have spent his final moments confused, and not feeling like he was loved by me.
We unfortunately knew his time was coming to an end as any animal in their older years, you just know at some point when they're no longer the same rambunctious baby you once knew. I remember sitting outside with him one day and saying to him that I loved him, cried my heart out then. Made it a point to always give him a hug when I was there just in case I didn't see him again. I still can't help but feel guilty that I couldn't be there for his last moments. How do you cope with not knowing if your cat passed feeling loved in his final moments?
Today will be hard as I am taking him to be cremated. I never thought it'd be this hard since we knew his time was coming but I wish more than anything we had had more time.
We unfortunately knew his time was coming to an end as any animal in their older years, you just know at some point when they're no longer the same rambunctious baby you once knew. I remember sitting outside with him one day and saying to him that I loved him, cried my heart out then. Made it a point to always give him a hug when I was there just in case I didn't see him again. I still can't help but feel guilty that I couldn't be there for his last moments. How do you cope with not knowing if your cat passed feeling loved in his final moments?
Today will be hard as I am taking him to be cremated. I never thought it'd be this hard since we knew his time was coming but I wish more than anything we had had more time.