We feel it's time

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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iain
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We feel it's time

Post by iain »

My poor FIV boy has not been well for over a year now with explosive diarrhoea, sneezing for over a month now, had a very bad abscess and gone blind in both eyes. My wife and I both feel it's nearing his time. I rescued him 11 years ago and at the time the vet said he was between 5 and 10 so that puts him at a good age.
He was a very lively boy and loved to explore in the back garden and sit on your lap for a belly rub. Slowly with age he went out less and slept more, now he sleeps 23 hours a day and only ever see him when he comes down for food at night then falls asleep next to me. In the morning he will go under the bed and sleep.
He use to run away from our 2 sons whenever he heard them as they are rather loud and hyper, now he can't be bothered to move which has been a good thing for our boys as they have really bonded and fell in love with him.
Trips to the vets just stresses him out, getting him in his box takes forever and he poo's everywhere so we feel it would be best for the vet to come to our house and have him put to sleep. The boys go back to school in a few weeks time and not sure if it would be best to do it when they are at school or have them here to see it happening.
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Kay
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Re: We feel it's time

Post by Kay »

never an easy decision, but I am very much in favour of avoiding that last trip to the vet for both cat and owner

you are in far better a position than any of us to decide if your boys should be there or not - how do they feel about it? - but do bear in mind if you wait until they are back at school you risk losing a managed peaceful ending, and may have to deal with an emergency instead, and all the trauma that brings for owners and cat

on the other hand, if the vet brings a veterinary nurse, as is usual, with you and your wife and your sons it could get a bit crowded, and alarm your boy, which is the last thing you want

but I expect your sons would like to be present at the funeral if you are planning a garden burial

I hope his passing will be peaceful and not too distressing for you all, and don't feel bad about planning his ending whilst he is still with you - I had a grave dug in my patio a week before I had to have my Trigger euthanised, and I actually found it comforting to look out at it whilst still able to make a fuss of him
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bobbys girl
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Re: We feel it's time

Post by bobbys girl »

We had to make that decision for my dog, Bonnie. She was 17 1/2 and increasingly senile. Poor love didn't know if she was coming or going. We made it as normal a day as possible and the vet came on his own. It was quiet and dignified.

I can't advise either way about the boys, but they will have to face it some day. They don't have to be in the room when it happens.

So sorry to hear your news but it sounds like you gave your FIV+ boy a wonderful life.

Thinking about you all
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Ruth B
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Re: We feel it's time

Post by Ruth B »

It's a decision that never gets any easier. All of mine have been at the vets when the time came, but none of them were hard to box or overly stressed, we also have very good, very sympathetic vets who make it as gentle as possible. If as you say yours gets so stressed out, then having the vet come to him sounds like the best idea.

As for the boys, I will first of say I don't have children so my opinion might be less informed than some, but my thought is, if they are old enough to understand what is happening, let them be there if they want to. Explain to them what is going on and ask if they want to be there to say good bye when he goes. When I was a child I made several last trips with my parents when one of our cats time had come, and it always left me with the comfort of knowing that, however hard it had been for me, I was never going to be left with the feeling that i had abandoned a cat when they needed me most.

When you have it done, must be when the time is right for the cat, don't put it off because you think it will be better for the people around you, you will then have to live with the memory of knowing you should have done it earlier. As for the boys, if it is still in the school holidays, at least if they feel they want to be by themselves for a bit, they won't have to face school friends next day or they could go off and do what ever they want as their way of coming to terms with it.
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Crewella
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Re: We feel it's time

Post by Crewella »

I feel for you, it's never an easy decision but there does come a time when it has to be made. I was once told on here 'better a day too early than a day too late', and I have found that to be a great help. If you can have the vet come to your home then I'm sure that would be the least distressing, whatever you think will be best for your boy. My thoughts are with you. xx
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