Lost our girl

[Littlepink]

Our beautiful girl was killed by a car 2 nights ago. My husband had been working from home on Friday and was still working at 7.30pm when his phone went. I thought it was probably a work call but he dashed out of the back room and said its China, I think she's dead and ran out into the street. I knew then that was it. A minute or so later he walked back up the street with her in his arms. I thought for a second perhaps she's still breathing but took one look at her and no, she was gone.

There had been some event on at a local church round the corner and our road was busier than usual with lots of parked cars. We think she got spooked as she wasn't used to the change and as there were lots of people on our street maybe she got frightened and confused and ran into the path of a car. We'll never know what exactly happened.

My husband feels so guilty because beforehand she was with him and she was stepping all over his laptop and he couldn't get any work done so he sent her out and that's when it happened shortly after. He feels horrible. It's awful to see a grown man cry.

We had her for 5.5 years. It wasn't long enough. She was such a character. She was so nosey. Anything new and she'd be inspecting it and sitting on it claiming it for herself.

I cried all night the night it happened and all day yesterday. Today I just feel numb and cried out. Missed her so much last night as she always used to spend the evenings with us all curled up on one of our laps. Our little friend didn't come to us last night for the first time in years.

She's a huge loss to us. I keep thinking I can see her in the corner of my eye but it just turns out to be a bag or something. My husband said he heard her miow the morning after she went.

We miss her so much. We're both heartbroken.

[bobbys girl]

My heart goes out to you. I went through through something very similar last Christmas and I know only too well the pain you are feeling. I still remember carrying my boy Tommy back to the house, talking to him, though I knew he was gone.

I am so very sorry to hear about China. RIP sweet puss. Many (hugs) to you and your OH.

Sue xx

[Mayday21]

So sad .. a couple of folks have posted recently re losing their fur babes to accidents. As Bobby's Girl posted our hearts go out to you. You'll have some hard times & all I can say is don't fight them. Post whenever & whatever you'll get heaps of support here. Take care & yes RIP little China.

[Littlepink]

Thank you for your kind words. I miss her so much, feels like my heart is going to burst out of my chest. I keep thinking I can hear the cat flap go. She would have been with me right now. She always used to come in at lunchtime to say hello and sit with me while I had lunch. She had her little routines.

We will get her ashes back soon. Dh wants to scatter them in the garden. I haven't decided what I want to do yet.

[Mainecoon]

We know how you feel & are so very sorry ... We lost Kara our so very very special rescue Longhaired Mainecoon x at less than 6 years old ( just over a year ago ) to a thoughtless driver in our road . ( We also are convinced we have seen her a few times recently ) It will get better over time , and you never will forget them as they are SO SPECIAL TO US . Thinking of you at this time . XXX

[Mayday21]

Hi Little Pink you'll feel better having her home. Advice don't rush re her ashes. Bobbys Girl bought a special plant when they lost their special boy Tommy where he was placed. I've also posted to others a Buddhist friend suggested lighting a candle & wishing Mayday well on her next journey. It did help & I did the same for Elsa. Just a suggestion ...

[bobbys girl]

Hi Little Pink you'll feel better having her home. Advice don't rush re her ashes. Bobbys Girl bought a special plant when they lost their special boy Tommy where he was placed. I've also posted to others a Buddhist friend suggested lighting a candle & wishing Mayday well on her next journey. It did help & I did the same for Elsa. Just a suggestion ...

I was thinking about that too Vivian. The plant is an evergreen heuchera called 'Thomas'. and it has been really lovely all year and reminds me of my darling boy every time I see it.

There is a type of rose known as a China rose - just a thought. But that's a decision to make at a later date.

Take your time. Thinking about you both.

[Littlepink]

I love the idea of the China rose. What a lovely thought thank you. I'm going to the garden centre on Thursday. It will ask them if they have any or if they can order me one. We have a magnolia tree in our garden in memory of my dad who passed away 2.5 years ago. My mum suggested we put her ashes by his tree. My dad loved our cat. We have always been a real cat family.

Just as I'm writing I glanced down and there's some fur on my lap. Sigh. She was such a faithful little thing. When I was in labour with my daughter, China barely left my side between 1am and 7pm. She followed me to the bathroom and back to the bedroom all night. She was the same when my dad died. She just stayed with me like a little guardian angel. I had surgery a few weeks back and again, she was there. I slept basically for four days whilst recovering and she slept next to me.

She was just always there.

[Mayday21]

And Littlepink rest assured she'll always be with you - they leave their paw prints in our hearts. Also, as you were always a cat family when the time's right the universe may surprise you - but only when the time's right. Keep us updated on the China Rose. Bobby's Girl that was a great suggestion. I'll have to google..

[bobbys girl]

The average garden centre will not know what a China rose is. They are the ancestors of modern Hybrid Tea and Floribunda roses. You maybe able to get one from one of the big rose growers. They come in shades of soft pink and red. Failing that there are a couple of more readily available roses, a miniature one called 'China Doll' and a lovely yellow one called 'Chinatown'.

That's a lovely idea to put her ashes by your dad's tree. My Tommy is buried next to his friend Rosie dog. She has a rose called Rosa Mundi.

Tommy and Rosie together again

That isn't the 'Thomas' heuchera, it was just a temporary bit of colour

[Littlepink]

I didn't get very far with the tree. The garden centre didn't have any of the three I asked about. I'm going to go to another garden centre.

I'm feeling it for dh because China was his first ever pet. He wasn't convinced about getting a cat originally but I talked him round. It was important for me to have a cat in our lives as growing up we always had cats. It wasn't long before he and China had become best friends. They adored each other. He wants to contact the lady who found her to ask questions to find out more so he can come to terms with it a bit better. I don't think he will but I can understand the need to know more. He says he thinks he's in denial that maybe there's some way he can change things and make it better again. But of course he can't.

Our 4 year old is feeling it too. She's been asking some difficult questions like are there cars in heaven? Will she be safe up there? Who's going to feed her now? Etc. she had a night terror a couple of nights ago for the first time. She's trying to process it all and her little mind must be so confused. Our 2 year old is the only one who is in blissful ignorance, tearing around the place without a care in the world. He has no idea.

A fellow cat friend just sent me a candle and a sympathy card in the post. It set me off again!

[bobbys girl]

Both these growers sell a number of roses that would fit the bill. May cost a little more than your average garden centre, but both sell very superior plants. I have bought from both and trust them.

https://www.classicroses.co.uk/
http://www.davidaustinroses.co.uk/

As for your 4 year old, aw, sweet, how DO you explain. Have you heard about Rainbow Bridge? We often mention it here. It's nice to think of our much missed furry friends waiting for us at 'the Bridge'.

I remember when my dad died, our neighbour's little boy asked about him and there was an awkward pause as his dad explained. The little lad said 'oh, so he's with Granddad now then? That's nice.'

[Mrs Kane]

So sorry for your loss. As for your husband he shouldn't take that weight on his shoulders. Sometimes bad things happen and we can't control them. It wasn't his fault. Please keep telling him that.

I can tell from your posts that you both loved little China. Her loss has hit you hard. But the important thing is to remember not the last image of her but the best image. It's important right now to grieve but also hold on the best memories of her so that one day you can turn to each other and say "Remember when?" and laugh or smile. Your children will like that too.

Friend, please don’t mourn for me
I’m still here, though you don’t see.
I’m right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.

My body is gone but I’m always near.
I’m everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I’ll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.

[Mayday21]

All I can say is that the words Mrs Kane posted are beautiful. Well said & thank you Mrs Kane. It's so hard when we lose members of our families no matter how many legs .. Mayday was 3-legged. And Little Pink she & my mum are never really from my thoughts. I hope all my family members are together at the Rainbow Bridge. Vivian

[Littlepink]

The poem is beautiful thank you.

Thank you also for the websites. Before I saw the message about that I went to the second garden centre and they hadn't heard of any of them so I let my daughter pick a rose bush. Out of " in loving memory" and " remember me" she chose the "remember me". We just planted it now and as dh was digging a hole in the flower bed, he found a piece of China under the soil. It was like she was saying yes this is the right place for my tree.

[bobbys girl]

I don't know the rose 'Remember Me', but we did plant 'In Loving Memory' on our lurcher, Katie's, grave. It was a beautiful rose, but very tall and top-heavy (and a lot of work!) so I think you have made the best choice.

It doesn't surprise me that the average garden centre has not heard of China roses. I once asked our local one for John Innes compost and was met with 'never heard of it'. That's like going into a pet shop and asking for Whiskas ' na, never heard of it'.

That's a nice touch, that you found some china. I hope you kept it.

[catly254]

This is so sad, really feel for you and your husband but not to worry all will be well.

[Sammik]

I send my love too you, we too this Monday found our 6 year old dead in the front garden, we're assuming that he got run over but we will never know. We too pushed him out the door, as he was miowing to go, normally we are so strict about no night time visits. When we tried to get him home, he didnt come. I sympathise with you for your loss. A family memeber has gone so suddenely & we didn't get to say good bye even

love & warm wishes to you - she will always be in oyur heart x

[CassieCat]

Hello Sammik ... Sincere and heartfelt sympathy for your loss. They leave pawprints in our hearts and will be forever loved. Please remember that whilst they are with us we give them the love and care they deserve. Will be thinking about you. x