Cat won't come in the house because of new kitten

[CatsinQ]

Hi all, and thanks to everyone who has any thoughts or suggestions about how to help my kitty. First, some background.

Up until recently I had 4 cats. 3 older females (one 15 and two 13 year olds) and one male cat, 5 years old. I have a special cat fence atop my normal fence so they are allowed outside and come in and out a cat door, but can't get out of the yard, although there are plenty of places to hide out there. I feed them handmade raw food, and some grain-free, antibiotic-free canned.

About five weeks ago I found an abandoned kitten trapped in a vine in my front yard. She was stuck and I'm not sure how long she had been there. Obviously I rescued her, cleaned her up, learned how to bottle feed a kitten (my neighbor came running over with kitten formula and a kitten bottle, bless her!) and now she's the fifth member of our furr-mily. The vet said she is healthy and about two months old right now.

The kitten has already figured out how to get out the cat door, but being so small she is basically hawk-bait, so, she is locked in an extra bedroom during the day when I am working, and at night I sleep in there with her - so as not to kick the other cats out of my own bedroom, where they are used to sleeping. So she is really only freely roaming the house between roughly 6 & 10pm, and then weekends.

Two of the older females hiss at her but basically ignore her. The male loves her, babysits her, and plays with her constantly. However, my third female cat (Rosie) will now NOT come inside. I've been taking food out to her in the yard but she won't eat. She won't come to me when I call her. She is obviously really distressed about the kitten even though I introduced them all the exact same way.

Has anyone dealt with this, or have any suggestions? I will try anything. Rosie has always been a shy girl, but sweet and loveable. I hate seeing her afraid to come into her own home! I'm afraid she's going to starve herself.

[Kay]

this is so sad, and difficult to know the best way forward without knowing why Rosie is so upset

has anything changed for her other than the kitten being in the house? is there anything or any place special to her she now feels is no longer hers? was she with you when any of the other cats came in, or was she last in before the kitten?

you have had to mother the kitten quite a bit, and perhaps this has made Rosie feel rejected - in my experience the shy timid cats often rely more on their people than other cats - is there a way you can spend time just with her?

[CatsinQ]

Thank you for responding. I know - it's so pitiful. I feel like a horrible person! But obviously I wasn't going to let a baby kitten be abandoned on my watch! Rosie was not last-in; she is a littermate to the other 13 year old, and they entered the house as kittens when the eldest one was 2 years old. And of course, she has known the male cat since he was a kitten, so for 5 years. She has always preferred the outdoors to indoors, and has never wanted to sleep on the bed with me, so in that sense, she is not missing out on "me" time. Tonight I locked all the other cats inside and took her some food and she did take a few bites and let me pet her. I'm going to do this every night for a while since I'm worried about her starving herself, and hopefully she'll start eating a bit more each time. But I don't know how to let her know that it's safe to come IN. So, I'm still open to all suggestions.

[Mollycat]

I don't have any direct experience so not much help to offer, but your comment caught my attention - how to tell her it's safe to come inside.

You're obviously very worried about Rosie and anxious for her to be happy. You say Rosie is not one to sleep on your bed and prefers the outdoors - so perhaps her relationship with you is harder to "see" than the others? More subtle? Is she a gentle kind of cat who keeps herself at a little distance and is just a little more sensitive? Who needs her time with you in a special way when you can focus on her 100% maybe?

I'm wondering if she isn't so much feeling pushed out or jealous, but picking up on your feelings, your focus and your anxiety. If the answers above are broadly yes, then she would be especially closely tuned in to you and your focus being on the kitten at the beginning would have just made her give you some space. But as your attention became anxious about her not coming in and not eating, she would have understood that you are giving off very anxious vibes but she wouldn't know why, so she would think there was something to be worried about.

[Kay]

time is on your side, as you won't have to worry about the weather at this time of year, assuming Rosie has somewhere to shelter from rain

this situation would be so much worse in winter

Mollycat makes a good point about Rosie perhaps picking up on your vibes, as if she is not coming into the house, how does she know the kitten is inside, especially as he is shut away much of the time? Does she smell him on you? Would it be going too far to suggest you change into a separate set of clothes before going out to her?

Obviously you can't go on like this forever, but you have some time to get her eating again, and interacting with you - but it needs resolving, I feel, before the kitten is fully integrated with the other cats, as then Rosie will be the outsider in every sense

[CatsinQ]

She knows the kitten is in there, because the first few days of "kitten" she was still coming in like normal, and she smelled her, of course, and THEN decided not to come in anymore. Now if she attempts to come in, I suppose she smells the kitten right off the bat. Plus the kitten has gotten out a few times and I think they may have come nose to nose when she was sprinting around like a damn ping-pong ball. I will continue to spend more alone time with her, but how to increase her comfort level with the kit, and get her back into the house?

[Kay]

maybe let the kitten out into the yard under your supervision, and the others kept in, just to see what happens? feeding them both outside might help

[CatsinQ]

It's worth a shot! Thank you!