Legacy cat

[wicksee]

Hi,
My father died last week.
He left behind a beautiful black adult female cat of about 8 years old, and I swore to my dad that i would take care of her should anything happen to him.
I've brought her to my house (3-bed semi); she's been set up upstairs with wet food, dry food, water, scratching post and litter tray, as well as comfy beds and window sills to look out of.
She has settled in ok over the last 5 days and seems quite content, if anything she wants to explore further.

Here's the problem: i already have 2 happy cats in my household, who are used to coming and going as they please, they have no restrictions.
I realise the new girl has lost her human, and been ripped from her territory where she lived a happy, solitary life. So i'm going easy on her and giving her space and time.
At some point though, she has to integrate with my 2 happy cats; currently they are being kept downstairs so they can still come and go using the cat flap.

There have already been a couple of accidental introductions where one cat has bolted through the lounge door as i've opened it, and come face to face with the other.
My 2 resident cats seem ok with the new cat, they're a little sketchy obviously but not aggressive. I suspect they would approach her and figure things out, they are sweet cats.
However the new cat is growling at them (more of a whining sound), and then returns to her base upstairs.

I know it's early days, but I'm worried that the new cat has lived alone for so long with her own space, and that she'll be stressed living with 2 other cats.
I will never put her into a rescue centre, but i'm starting to wonder if i should find another home for her where she will be the only cat. I would rather not do that though as I promised my dad, i would rather try to integrate her into my house first.
Any thoughts or advice please?

[fjm]

I would not despair of them all living together amicably, with sufficient time and patience taken over the introductions, but nor do I think that you should feel bound by your promise to keep her yourself if you come to believe she would be happier as an only cat. Your father would want what is best for her, and working with a reputable rescue to find her perfect home would definitely count as looking after her.

[Mollycat]

So sorry for your loss, and stressful gain.

It is very early days, and your dad's cat is at some disadvantage being one versus your established two as well as the territory advantage. I would think her growling is more likely defensive rather than aggressive, warning them to leave her some space as she will defend herself if she feels threatened.

It's crucial for her to settle that you be calm and I know that's hard when you have just lost your dad, but it is really important for you and all three cats that you do.

Can you create a double gate system so that accidental meetings don't happen? An "airlock" system.

For introductions think months not days or weeks. Every step forward, give it a week until it becomes normal before moving the next small step. But I would help her settle completely with you and her environment before starting the process of introducing the cats. She is acutely aware that she is in their home and even with the most welcoming of resident cats (like mine was) the newcomer must have a safe space, safe people and all the time, patience and gentle encouragement in the world.

Whether it works in the end of not, you will be keeping your promise if the right thing for her turns out to be a loving home without other pets, your dad must have know you have cats before you promised and if he knew anything about them he must know integration is not always possible despite the very best efforts and time.

[wicksee]

Thank you both for your good advice and kind words.

I guess what I'm asking really is, is it possible for the new cat to integrate at all, given her age and previous solitary life?
Am I wasting our time (and stressing us all out) even trying to integrate her, or should I give it a chance?

[Mollycat]

The rescue I got my girl from told me boys are generally more sociable and easier to integrate, but in the end whether or not it's possible is up to the cats. I'm no expert on how as both the multicat households I have had have happened fairly naturally, one was walk-ins and the other was a case of being forced to get a second for the first that could not live alone. Both the instigators of these multicat households were boys, as it happens, but the other three cats involved with them have been girls.

Possible - absolutely!
Easy - most likely not.
Worth trying - definitely!!!

If the resident cats are not trying to chase the newcomer away, I'd say that's about 75% of your problem not a problem. Once your dad's cat realises nobody is going to make her life miserable, remember she is grieving and confused, so her defensiveness, fear and possibly a touch of depression are not necessarily down to your cats. Molly was my second cat, the newcomer, I didn't even know what colour she was for a week. You are on day 6 and your dad's cat is settling well and has coped with accidental meetings.

I'm hearing something else from you though. Are you regretting this promise to your dad, feeling you've taken on too much at a difficult time perhaps? Would you really prefer to give this girl a home all to herself? If you're not really feeling it for her, if your gut says this isn't going to work, that's ok too.

Cats who have lived alone their whole life can integrate beautifully - like this grey bundle curled up on the sofa next to me who not only wanted to play with my resident cat but also accepted a dog into our home at the age of 10. Some wary defensiveness is absolutely natural in all the situation. But it is very important to let go of the stress so that you lead by good example of being calm and welcoming and kind, and she can feel secure and that there's nothing to worry about if nobody else seems worried. If you are tense when you start to introduce them gradually step by step, your own cats are likely to pick up that tension and react less well to her, in other words if you are stressed you could ruin the whole thing that could go very well if you are calm and relaxed. But if you don't believe in it or don't really want it, then there is no way it can succeed.

[wicksee]

Thank you, that's all very reassuring.

I just want to make sure i'm doing the right thing. It would be a shame for us to put all that effort in and ultimately not be successful, and have to rehome the new girl anyway having gone through all that. It would be more disruption for her on top of what she's going through already.

She definitely seems a little depressed right now which is understandable. She spends most of her time curled up asleep and is not nearly as vocal as normal.

You're right though, she is doing really well to be at this stage within a week, and my cats not chasing her away is a good sign. (One of my residents, the boy, really couldn't care less!).
That gives me a bit more optimism.