Hello Cat people,
I'm a first time sole owner of a 1.5 adopted female very cute cat from a rescue. I've always been brought up with cats but live alone now. Anyway, I brought her home yesterday and she was meowing during the night (I 'm keeping her in the frontroom until she gets used to it) and she's hardly slept today. Shes very tired but so cautious and jumpy that shes sleeping with one eye open almost and gets up everytime I walk into the room. Also she uses wood litter and has been for a poo finally! So I scooped it out and it still smells but she hasn't been for a wee yet. When she does do I scoop out just the wet bits or change the lot? I also want to move her litter tray into the kitchen soon and have a very large garden but won't let her out for about a month or more as lots of other cats and the odd fox turns up. I'm scared she will run off. I'm just so anxious and hardly slept last night and feel sorry for her because she must be be exhausted as well and she had 3 kittens a few months ago and had to have a cesarean. I cant' concentrate or relax or anything. Luckily I'm not going back to work until 4th July so have time to sort this. She also has to have her 2nd vaccination on 30th June and I have to take her out in her carrier again and I don't want her to think I'm abandoning her x thank you. Natalie - london
Anxious around new cat
-
Mollycat
- VIP Cat Chatter!
- Posts: 2705
- Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2019 10:58 am
- No. of cats in household: 1
- Location: UK
Re: Anxious around new cat
Hello and welcome, congratulations on your new arrival.
It's very normal for an adult cat to be nervous in a new house with a new person, it can take them a while to settle to a new routine and all the new smells. Unless there is another cat in the house personally I wouldn't keep a new cat shut in one room, I have always let a new cat go in the quietest room, preferably my bedroom, and then leave all doors open so that they can explore as much as they want when they feel ready and find their own safe place to hide. My gut feeling is that being able to be near to us while we're asleep helps them get used to us quicker and means we can become a source of comfort and reassurance.
For not peeing, it may be that she doesn't like this type of litter. Is the wood pellet type what she had before? If not, try other types, I've found the only ones acceptable to any cat I've had is the heavy grit, and clumping pays off not only for ease of cleaning but also for not getting paws wet. Grit or a sandy soil is more natural to them and although many cats adapt very well to something different, instinct says they want to dig in something that will cover up - hence the love for flower beds!
I would suggest though that getting your own anxiety levels under control would be of benefit both to you and your cat. She is in a strange environment and she will sense your stress. It will make it much harder for her to feel relaxed and comfortable and connect with you if you're not calm yourself. She won't understand why you're so stressed and will only understand that something is wrong, so she will stay highly alert and stressed. Don't think about her going outside for now, let's go one step at a time and help her feel at home with you in the house first. Work on building a relationship with her where she can look to you for comfort and guidance, so that when she eventually does go out she will want to come in and come to you, not just for food.
As for going to the vets, the sooner she starts to learn that wherever you take her you will always bring her home, the better. If possible if you have an understanding vet, don't let them take her out into the back to do things to her - a decent vet should agree and understand your reasons. But it's important that you are calm so that as she looks to you for guidance you show that you're there for her and won't let anything genuinely bad happen to her. Don't feel bad for her and what she has been through, her new life with you is forever and she is safe - make her feel that, and don't get hung up on her pas feeling sorry for her or her future and every worry you can imagine for her - live in the moment with her, know that everything is just fine and she will always be with you, you will never abandon her, be confident and calm, show her that you're in control and will always protect her, and eventually the message will sink in. Let her be a cat, but make yourself the anchor in her life.
It's very normal for an adult cat to be nervous in a new house with a new person, it can take them a while to settle to a new routine and all the new smells. Unless there is another cat in the house personally I wouldn't keep a new cat shut in one room, I have always let a new cat go in the quietest room, preferably my bedroom, and then leave all doors open so that they can explore as much as they want when they feel ready and find their own safe place to hide. My gut feeling is that being able to be near to us while we're asleep helps them get used to us quicker and means we can become a source of comfort and reassurance.
For not peeing, it may be that she doesn't like this type of litter. Is the wood pellet type what she had before? If not, try other types, I've found the only ones acceptable to any cat I've had is the heavy grit, and clumping pays off not only for ease of cleaning but also for not getting paws wet. Grit or a sandy soil is more natural to them and although many cats adapt very well to something different, instinct says they want to dig in something that will cover up - hence the love for flower beds!
I would suggest though that getting your own anxiety levels under control would be of benefit both to you and your cat. She is in a strange environment and she will sense your stress. It will make it much harder for her to feel relaxed and comfortable and connect with you if you're not calm yourself. She won't understand why you're so stressed and will only understand that something is wrong, so she will stay highly alert and stressed. Don't think about her going outside for now, let's go one step at a time and help her feel at home with you in the house first. Work on building a relationship with her where she can look to you for comfort and guidance, so that when she eventually does go out she will want to come in and come to you, not just for food.
As for going to the vets, the sooner she starts to learn that wherever you take her you will always bring her home, the better. If possible if you have an understanding vet, don't let them take her out into the back to do things to her - a decent vet should agree and understand your reasons. But it's important that you are calm so that as she looks to you for guidance you show that you're there for her and won't let anything genuinely bad happen to her. Don't feel bad for her and what she has been through, her new life with you is forever and she is safe - make her feel that, and don't get hung up on her pas feeling sorry for her or her future and every worry you can imagine for her - live in the moment with her, know that everything is just fine and she will always be with you, you will never abandon her, be confident and calm, show her that you're in control and will always protect her, and eventually the message will sink in. Let her be a cat, but make yourself the anchor in her life.
Re: Anxious around new cat
Hi Molly,
Thanks for the good advice. I opened up the kitchen and bathroom for her today and it seems to be working. I'm not going to let her sleep in the bedroom as I probably won't get much sleep although she did run in and hide under the bed and she's dying to get back in there now. Re
Anxiety. It seems she senses mine and the more I've just got on with normal things indoors today, the more relaxed and trusting she seems. She's asleep at the moment and actually facing away from me rather than sleeping with one eye open to watch me all the time. I'm in absolutely no rush to let her out as the cats in my garden are much bigger and there are foxes roaming around. She's so tiny. The homing center said to maybe get a small dog lead and take her out for just a few minutes and bring her back in for food. It's unfair to keep her in always so I will have to get round to it in 6 weeks or so. Slowly but surely. But iI'd hate it if she saw a fox and bolted over the fence and got lost) even though she's micrchipped). On a more positive note she's really made me happy! I live alone and can get lonely at times and I feel so much better already. X
Thanks for the good advice. I opened up the kitchen and bathroom for her today and it seems to be working. I'm not going to let her sleep in the bedroom as I probably won't get much sleep although she did run in and hide under the bed and she's dying to get back in there now. Re
Anxiety. It seems she senses mine and the more I've just got on with normal things indoors today, the more relaxed and trusting she seems. She's asleep at the moment and actually facing away from me rather than sleeping with one eye open to watch me all the time. I'm in absolutely no rush to let her out as the cats in my garden are much bigger and there are foxes roaming around. She's so tiny. The homing center said to maybe get a small dog lead and take her out for just a few minutes and bring her back in for food. It's unfair to keep her in always so I will have to get round to it in 6 weeks or so. Slowly but surely. But iI'd hate it if she saw a fox and bolted over the fence and got lost) even though she's micrchipped). On a more positive note she's really made me happy! I live alone and can get lonely at times and I feel so much better already. X
-
Mollycat
- VIP Cat Chatter!
- Posts: 2705
- Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2019 10:58 am
- No. of cats in household: 1
- Location: UK
Re: Anxious around new cat
Lovely to read your update. I was living alone for years and my two kept me entertained and quickly became the centre of my world. Cats do pick up so much from us, I'm glad she is settling and you are too.
Size isn't really such an issue for animals as we think, as many small dog owners know only too well. Sometimes it's the smallest that rule the group! As for foxes, pets can pick up their fleas and if the foxes have an outbreak of mange that can be an issue, but they are not coyotes - many foxes and cats coexist peacefully, avoid each other or in some cases eat alongside each other and even make friends. There is a pair where I walk my dog who just hang out together! And the better your cat knows "home" the more likely it is that if startled she would bolt for home not away from it. See how it goes, when the time comes by all means try a harness and lead but not all cats will take to it and when you and she are both confident enough if you do let her out start by going with her outside. All in good time.
Size isn't really such an issue for animals as we think, as many small dog owners know only too well. Sometimes it's the smallest that rule the group! As for foxes, pets can pick up their fleas and if the foxes have an outbreak of mange that can be an issue, but they are not coyotes - many foxes and cats coexist peacefully, avoid each other or in some cases eat alongside each other and even make friends. There is a pair where I walk my dog who just hang out together! And the better your cat knows "home" the more likely it is that if startled she would bolt for home not away from it. See how it goes, when the time comes by all means try a harness and lead but not all cats will take to it and when you and she are both confident enough if you do let her out start by going with her outside. All in good time.
Re: Anxious around new cat
I'm glad you came out with the situation!