Advice - whats best for cat

[Aquila]

Did I make right choice for cat?
Yesterday I left my home due to an unhealthy relationship. When I moved in I brought my cat (tabitha) and soon after we adopted another cat as mine was use to being around others and we worried she'd be lonely. When I left I decided it was best for tabitha to stay behind. This was a hard decision.

My reasoning was: I cannot afford another home alone so im living with parents at the minute and will later go into student accommodation. My mum has agreed to look after tabitha but it seems unfair to keep uprooting her. Also, I cant take both cats and it seems cruel splitting them. Lastly, the cats here are having a big flea problem at the moment and I don't want her suffering.

However: I miss her and im worried she cant possibly understands and will be upset etc.

I know this probably sounds daft so apologies but I could really do with an outsiders opinion. Its eating me up.

If it matters: tabitha has lived there for just over half a year

Thanks for reading

[Judy Barnett]

Hi Aquila,
firstly I'm very sorry your relationship hasn't worked out, I hope you are ok. Is your ex partner looking after the cats now? Are they happy to do so? If they are, although your cats will probably wonder where you are, because they are with a person they know and like, it will probably be business as usual with them, so I wouldn't worry too much. In my experience unless they have their entire world turned upside down and find themselves alone in a cat's home, cats are fairly resilient and adapt to new situations fairly quickly. All they need is a warm bed, good food, a place to be quiet in and someone to love them. It's going to be stressful for any animal when the norm is altered but please don't apologize for loving your cats and worrying about them. But when you finally get settled and are able to have them both back I'm sure they'll be fussing about you like nothing ever happened. Chin up Chuck

[Ruth B]

It certainly doesn't sound daft, cats, or any pet for that matter, quickly become part of the family, anyone who doesn't worry about what happens to them, should never have any pet.

My first question is, who is looking after Tabitha and the other cat. I am assuming you haven't just left them to fend for themselves, but then, if the relationship was that unhealthy for you, are certain he won't take it out on the cats. I hate to worry you, but like you I have the cats best interest at heart.

People that say that cats don't care about people or become attached to their owners, those people have never owned cats. If yours were attached to your previous partner and he was attached to them, then I don't think leaving them with him would be a problem, but if one or both were very much your cats then I would be a bit concerned that they would be missing you, and concerned about how well they were being cared for.

Again as far as splitting them up goes, it very much depends on the cats. I have three, two of which I think would cope perfectly well without the other around, one is far more nervous and really seems to gain confidence from the others, I think she would suffer if there wasn't at least one other cat around. Only you know yours and you have to decide if they would be better kept together.

The flea issue I think is the least of the problems. As long as yours is treated regularly and you make sure your parents are done as well, and if possible try and fumigate the house to get rid of as many as possible, fleas can be brought under control.

Cats are incredibly adaptable and regardless of what some may think they do become attached to the people they live with more than the home. If you make somewhere your home then I think Tabitha will make herself at home there, even if it does keep changing. I've know a couple of student houses that had cats, it is more difficult to find somewhere that would accept her, and she might have to be an indoor cat, if she isn't already, but I feel there is no reason you couldn't take her with you if you were willing to put the effort in.

I really hope you can get the situation sorted and make sure that Tabitha, the companion cat, and yourself all have the best home possible.