Help? Sorry if wrong thread!

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Brikay_96
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Help? Sorry if wrong thread!

Post by Brikay_96 »

I have a five year old cat named Binx. I've had him since birth. I also have two other cats that are his sisters. Only four years old. Binx has never really been a cuddly, passionate cat until about two years ago when he started giving all of his attention to my dad. My dad dislikes cats- although he doesn't mind Binx. But Binx loves him! He goes crazy once he gets home from work. He'll follow him around the house, lay on his chest, knead him and purr like crazy. He doesn't do any of this with me. I feed him and play with him so I always thought he'd be somewhat close to me but he's not. He doesn't care to be around me. He's had crystlals for almost his whole life and every time he's gotten them I'm around and I'm the one to take him to the vet so I'm unsure if he's assoictiating me with these bad moments? His two sisters Maisie and Ella are nothing like him. They love coming around me and are constantly wanting my attention. I'm not sure if maybe he's jealous, but I always give him the same amount of attention I do the others, and he doesn't want it. I'm at a loss of what to do. I want to be close to him like my dad is. Any tips on what I can do? Or on what I can differently would be very much appreciated!
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Lilith
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Re: Help? Sorry if wrong thread!

Post by Lilith »

Hi and welcome :)

What a handsome chap he is - and what a bad lad too.

But. This is cats for you. They make up their own minds and that's it. As the late great TS Eliot put it:

'He will do
What he do do,
And there's no doing anything about it!'

Good on you for hanging in there with the ungrateful Binx and caring for him, and I hope he changes his mind someday and loves you as much too :)
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Ruth B
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Re: Help? Sorry if wrong thread!

Post by Ruth B »

It's fairly common knowledge that a cat in a room full of people will instantly go to the person who doesn't like, or is afraid of cats. I have read one theory why this happens and I wonder if it might ably to Binx. People who don't like cats tend to ignore them, they don't look at them, they don't call or reach out to them, where as someone who does like cats will look straight at the cat, will hold out a hand, will make strange noises. To a cat being stared at is a sign of aggression, raising a hand for fuss and raising a paw to strike can look very similar, and are the strange noises warning noises, cats rarely make friendly noises to each other in a feral state, which is as close to wild as they normally get. So a cat can misinterpret a human's friendly overture as a form of aggression, where as the person who is ignoring them is obviously safe to approach. They are cats and each to their own, so how true this is is up for debate, however it might explain why Binx has attached himself to your Dad.

If it is the case then the advise is rather hard to carry out, ignore Binx, don't talk to him, don't look at him straight on, if you do look at him while he is looking back then blink very slowly at him as that is a sign of relaxation and happiness among cats and will tell him you aren't out to be agressive. I'm not sure he will change from your Dad to you, but it might help him feel safer around you.

I would also look at how the three cats behave to each other. How does he react to the other cats and how do they treat him. Is there any aggression, active or passive, between them. Do they gang up on him. He became far more affectionate two years ago when the two girls would be about 2 years old, just getting into their prime, did he feel unsure about his position in the pecking order and attached himself to someone who he felt was safe.

Lastly, I am assuming that all three are neutered, if not then this could be causing the problem.

He is a gorgeous lad and I hope things do improve, but being cats he may always be a bit distant.
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bobbys girl
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Re: Help? Sorry if wrong thread!

Post by bobbys girl »

Yes, Ruth is spot on there, if you turn away from a cat they come to you. If you WANT them to come, tough! :lol:

I found Willow in the road when she was only about a week old. As her eyes opened, I was the first thing she saw. It was me that fed her and toileted her and met her every need. Today she treats me as 'staff'. :roll: It was my OH who found Bob - in very much the same circumstances. Today Bob is very much a mummy's boy and only allows Dave to fuss him when he is with me. You should see the looks he gives OH.

That's cats for you!
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